Many Things on my Heart!

I apologize now for the possibly long post! I have so much on my heart that I feel led to blog about today!!!

Advent and Food:

I am sure I am not the only one, though I do feel it sometimes, that is constantly tempted on the way home from work to "just give in, get take out/fast food/prepared dinner!" And honestly, I don't know if it's more of a temptation in the single life than in family life, but I'm not sure because I've yet to be (obviousy) on that side of the fence. All I can say for certain is, God always blesses me big time when I say, "NO" to that temptation. Tonight, I came home, opened a can of diced tomatoes, pureed them, spiced it and heated it up and combined with my angel hair pasta. Had half for dinner, and put half in the fridge...to find the Chicken Breasts that I had thawed out for dinner. Oops! But remember, I said God blessed me! I decided to rummage through my cabinets and get creative...saltine crackers, crumbled up with poultry seasoning, garlic and herbs provence (a French spice mix I think), dipped the chicken in egg and the "breadcrumbs". I put them in a glass dish with a can of peas, a can of sliced potatoes and some cut up carrots, drizzled with olive oil and baked for an 1 hour and 30 minutes on 375! (1 hour covered with foil, 1/2 hour uncovered at end)  Dinner tomorrow, lunch and dinner on Thursday!

I've also decided as part of my Advent journey to continue doing things like this. No eating out (except if really needed for lunch at work) and no going to the grocery store until I absolutely have no more food!

Food in General

As an Italian and a blessed person, there was always plenty of food in the house. In this environment, I developed the "there is nothing to eat in this house" bad habit. I would open the fridge or pantry, see nothing I really desired, and made this statement, walking away. I can not believe that this has lasted all the way to now! Especially after being to Haiti! People die in Haiti daily from malnutrition. And I look at a fridge that may "only" have container full of eggs and say "Eh, nothing in there, should go to the store". Right now, I have eggs, mayonaisse, carrots, my lunch for tomorrow, 2 left over pancakes, butter, grated cheese, ketchup, steak sauce. I can make egg salad (because I have a stove/pots/clean water to boil eggs), I can have carrots as a snack, pancakes or eggs for breakfast. I have bread, 7 boxes of pasta (some half used), and the list goes on. I really do not think I will need to go to the grocery store until Christmas. How could I have ever thought of this as nothing to eat?

Conversion of the Day

Many of you out there may know of  "Conversion Diary" a popular blog out there that I read. This is not related. But today I am having a conversion. Regarding the two previous topics. Advent, food, and the idea of mission. I have so much, and I've talked about blessing, but I do. And I often take that for granted. I know this must sound familiar to someone out there. Having what we don't always want and wanting for what we don't always need is a major American conflict. I found myself today, in my simple kitchen, preparing dinner and then another meal for the week, falling in love with my vocation. My vocation as a woman. I felt united to all those single women who long for marriage, yet slave over meals anyway. I felt united to those with families, who are pulled in the direction of their spouse, kids, other duties, yet slave over meals anyway. Today, for the first time, I was...I just was a single woman. Who could cook, clean, and have a glass of wine in the quiet. Not wanting for marriage, not disillusioned to think that having a husband or kids would make me cooking any easier, just being who I am in the moment.

Mission

So what does all this have to do with mission? Well, the reason I made this blog was because I felt God calling me to be a missionary yet it wasn't exactly time for me to go anywhere. Today I realized that my mission in the moment right now, is to live out my vocation as a single person, with a commitment to not wasting food. Offering up those moments when I want the "quick fix" of the drive through or take out. Offering up those moments cleaning up the spills in the kitchen or washing the dishes. Offering up the moments when I am not completely out of food, but out of what seems to me to be sensible ingredients! Offering up my desires for certain foods, laying down my wants. All of this helps to teach me how to be a missionary abroad. I will leave you with the commonly quoted phrase, "It all starts in the home".

Full of Grace Creations Giveaway!!!

A blog I follow is having a great giveaway! Check out her post about it over here!

And check out her Etsy Shop Here!! For any religious gifts you might need for Christmas!

We did it!

We went to one tree farm. We looked around for about 45 minutes at the most, with our 11 people in tow, and found our perfectly tall Christmas Tree.

Thanks to my 2 year old nephew, we have named her Henrietta. (Of course a name from his favorite show Thomas the Tank Engine)

We had a blast. We even took over a Dunkin Donuts afterwards for Hot Chocolate. Based on our estimated ceiling height, this tree is approximately 11.5 ft tall. We have tried year after year to have the tree show in that top window...last year we just about did it...this year, the top of the tree is past the top of the window. A ladder will be required to decorate it.

A few years ago I claimed, "What is the point, this has nothing to do with Jesus or his birth, or Mary or Joseph..." but this year I realized that this tree brought together old and possibly new family, inspired a day full of joy and laughter, and togetherness. I think the Holy Family was smiling on us as we shared this moment with one another. Our kickoff to Advent.



In 14 Hours...

I am starting a countdown right about now to what will probably be one of the most memorable moments in our family's history. You are probably wondering what could top my sister having twins or any other of the many shenanigans that have occured in this crazy family...but I assure you, this will definitely make the top 10 list!

Every year since my parents bought the house they live in (my mom's first owned stand alone house), we have gone and cut down a Christmas tree. Last year, we waited until December and had slim pickings. We always have slim pickings because my mom always wants to top the height of our last tree until it stands perfectly between our slopped high ceilings. We are usually talking 10 ft at the start of our hunt...but this year we're starting with the height of 12 ft. The problem is that here in New England, the way it goes for fresh cut trees is:

Any Tree You Cut=$___ (set price no matter how big or small)

So if it's $40, and we get a 10-12 footer, well yay for us. So they cut down all the biggest ones for you, and add in the cost of labor for cutting it down and driving it to an area where they are all set up nicely. The price then usually rises to $80-$100!

And that's not all folks....

Tomorrow is an extra super challenge. Not because we are looking for an extra tall tree, but because we have invited quite a bit of people to join us.

My grandparents are watching the twins so we can take my older nephew. So here is the tally so far:

My parents (2)
Me (1)
Sister/Brotherinlaw/Nephew (3)
Mom's best friend (1)
Uncle/his girlfriend/her daughter/her granddaughter/possibly her other daughter too (4-5)

For a grand total of 11 (possibly 12) people all to go hunting for 1 tree. It is times like these when I say things like this to myself, "Ok, where are the cameras? Where is the crew? This must be reality TV!"

Dear God, please help us to have nothing but joy in our hearts and truly enjoy the day and one another during this very precious moment. Amen!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I am so thankful today for my family. I spent almost the entire day with my parents, grandparents, sister, brother in law, their 3 kids (LOVE), my step-brother. It was absolutely wonderful. We had way less people than usual for holidays. But it was perfect. The twins (M&M) are absolutely the best. They laugh and giggle and cuddle! I love them. And their big brother Jimmy is awesome, 25 months old, and he's just started putting all of his words together for basic sentences. The longest sentence I heard him use was: "Mema...trains, stairs, mema, up" He was telling his Mema (my mom) to go downstairs get his trains and bring them back up for him!

I'm also thankful for the newfound ability to put babies to sleep. I rocked my niece to sleep twice today for naps! The last time I rocked her to sleep, I felt an even stronger desire to be a mother. I was almost crying as I felt so close to our Blessed Mother in that moment. Simply rocking this little life to a sweet sleep, she fit perfectly in my arms.

I am thankful for all of the blessings that God has given me in this life. Like I mentioned earlier this week, the blessings are too numerous to count, and I'm beyond grateful for them all. I pray you all are blessed infinitely.

Advent

A great deal of bloggers have been discussing their plan for the Advent season. Most of them have children so I can't really find anything appropriate within those plans for a single person, living alone.

I've always wanted to do an Advent Wreath but I haven't had time to find one. Then today, I was catching up on reading inspriational quotes I subscribe to called, Franciscan University E-Spirations. You should definitely check that out! I came across this:

“Don’t think all is lost when your feet feel the hot desert sand, your cheeks the burning sun, your stomach the pangs of hunger. The Holy Spirit is leading you where Jesus went, and there he will show you what demons you need to face. But fear not. The very same Spirit who led Jesus into the desert is leading you, and he will empower you with his word to stand as champion over the world’s greatest enemy.”



-George T. Montague, SM (Holy Spirit: Make Your Home in Me, The Word Among Us Press)

I feel very convicted that this is about my Advent journey. Although it sounds like more of an inspiration for a Lenten theme. Sacrifice has always been a major theme running through my journey, but I must admit, I'm not very good at it. While Advent may  not be a time to focus on Jesus in the desert, it is a time to reflect on the idea that Mary and Joseph (with Jesus in Mary's womb) had to make a difficult journey to Bethlehem. I want to go to that place where Jesus was. I want to face my demons, and stand as a champion on Christmas day. Please pray for me so I can know just what I need to do to make this happen!

Any moms out there?

Check out this amazing post for the holiness of your children!!!

Blossoming Joy: Consecration of a Child to Mary

More Thanksgiving Prep

I am thankful for getting to spend a lot of time with my neice and nephews!!!!

I'm also thankful for this: The Stationary Mission Facebook Page!!!

Lord, I pray today that you give all of us a grateful spirit during this beautiful Thanksgiving time!

Thanksgiving Preparation (Not related to food...)

This morning, I was on facebook and read someone's status which mentioned how silly an idea it is to count our blessings instead of simply being thankful for them.

My first response was, "Gee, how could we ever count all of our blessings anyway? There are simply too many of them!"

In preparation for Thanksgiving, let's take time each day this week and be truly thankful for all of the many blessings/gifts we have been given in this life, especially if we're struggling right now. If you find something you are just overly grateful for, please comment and tell me about it!!!

Right now, I'm overly thankful for unexpectedly having a friend and her daughter over for dinner tomorrow night.

Songs

I went to God Tube (Christian You Tube) in order to find a video to share of the song I mentioned here.

Lord, I give you my heart!

And I also found this that I couldn't help but just link to, this was on the main page and I had to share with you today:



Hope you enjoy it, Happy Feast of Christ the King!

Washed in Tears

Last night I went to a Holy Hour (hour of adoration with some worship music thrown in) with a friend of mine. We went to dinner first and I told her about some recent news that we got in my family and asked for her prayers.

She said, "Well we're on our way to the perfect place and you can even cry/let it all go if you need to".

I agreed that this was perfect! (I am a big fan of crying, especially when stressed to let it all go). But something wasn't right. I was before Jesus, and not crying. All I could seem to repeat in my heart was:

Jesus, increase my desire for you!

I do not recall ever praying this simply before in my life. No other words came to my mind and no tears came. I tried kneeling/sitting/relaxing.

Then I hear the singer start the next song...."This is my desire, to worship you, Lord with all my heart, I worship you..."  This is my all time favorite song and I often sing it in the car or in bed because I know it so well and it brings me back to place of being very close to God.

I was sitting with my feet on the far side of the kneeler, head down resting on the pew in front of me...and then this crazy thing happened.

The tears poured out of me...everytime I  blinked to clear my eyes, another person's name came to my hear, and I prayed, "take them, Lord". It seemed like the shortest amount of time, but I am pretty sure I named every person or group I know. "Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul..." I gave Him my heart, and all that was held in it. It was such a beautiful moment.

I love intercessory prayer. Amen!

7 Quick Takes...Wait Really?

The thing about 7 Quick Takes....it makes me realize just how fast the week goes by! I can't believe it's already time again to make my list of 7! Well, here we go again! :-)  Thanks to the host: http://www.conversiondiary.com/ !!!

~*~1~*~

I really enjoyed all of my classes this week. I'm surprisingly becoming more understanding of my Religious Studies prof. and his view for teaching the course. I understand now that his goal is to not distract anyone from their own beliefs, but to try to get us to look objectively from a different view than we normally would, at the Gospels. And when you've come to love them and their meaning to your life, that is hard to do. In my other classes, we're still talking a lot about Philosophical things...I really like that!

~*~2~*~

I made a new word and job title for myself. While also eventually being a wife and mom, I now want to also become a Philo-Psych-ologer. A what? In my mind, this is someone who studies psychology and philosophy each through the lense of the other. A new found connection between the two.

~*~3~*~

One of the guys that my co-worker is trying to set me up with (yes there is more than one) turns out to have been in the wedding party for my sister's best friend. And did I mention, the other guy's parents live on the same street as my parents? I was using that same street thing to say "hmm maybe that's a sign" and then I'm within 5 degrees of seperation to this other guy too....Lord, guide me!

~*~4~*~

I'm really bothered by a lot of things going on in Haiti. Cholera outbreak spreading...Anti UN protests getting violent. UN peacekeepers, who haven't been doing all that much apparently, are opening fire against protestors. Personally, I think they need to protest. If more things were done in Haiti after the earthquake, maybe these people would be protected for the other things that went wrong (hurricane, collapse of any organized leadership, high rains, cholera outbreak). They deserve a chance to protest!

~*~5~*~

Big shocker of the day: I wore my hair down and heals on the same day. That never happens!

~*~6~*~

Please pray for my family.

~*~7~*~

I'm going to a Holy Hour tonight and I am so excited! I get to see an old friend who I haven't seen in a while and possibly more friends...and to spend time in front of Jesus in the Eucharist, AHH! I can't wait! Know that I will be offering up all of you, my blog friends, and your intentions. I am hoping they have a priest available for confession too!

Trust Trust Trust

Trust

Two days ago the very peace and trust that I experience in thinking about Haiti was creeping back into my mind and heart as the possibility of going back became slightly more realistic.

Yesterday, I was told some sad news, news that equals uncertainty. I should know that in a lesson to trust, God would provide me with a situation in which I have no choice but to trust Him. The news could mean we should expect change, the news could mean nothing may change for a while. We just do not know and we might never know for sure which way it could go.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

Haiti

A little over 10 months ago, people in Haiti were struggling to get by, poverty was widespread throughout the majority of the country. Then the rest of the world got some sad news. Unsure of whether or not things would remain the same, get better, or get worse, the people of Haiti trusted in God to provide, praised Him for surviving, and continued to be a family. Things got worse. A month ago, they were hit with a Cholera outbreak in one small area. It got worse. A hurricane came through and the Cholera outbreak spread to their Capital city of Port au Prince. Violent outbreaks are occuring, and the UN peacekeepers are shooting at people.

Imagine going through losing family members and your home, living out of a tent with probably not enough to eat or drink, and then have the peacekeepers shoot at you because your speaking out, trying to show your outrage for nothing being done.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

When we do not know what is coming, when we do not know how to handle what is happening in front of our eyes, trust....trust....trust!

Ayiti! Ayiti! Mwen pa kwe li!

I think that last part says "I can't believe it"

 What can't I believe?
It is possible that I may actually get to return to Haiti in the spring. Oh, the joy that fills my heart, even at the simple thought of it. The feelings of peace, trust, and joy begin to flood my soul as the reality of going back is before me.

I recall this moment when I first experienced it while in Haiti:

"I never had such peace and joy in my whole life...and to have it in such a moment was amazing because our truck was bumping all over the place, it was dark, and I was in an unknown place, with only one person I really knew well...but I had peace and joy. The kind that it felt like it was our Blessed Mother living right in my heart keeping me calm. The trust I had in Jesus during that truck ride, it was like I was somewhere else. I don't think I ever stopped smiling"

God had brought me somewhere completely foreign and I felt this way automatically. When our plane landed in Haiti in August, I no longer needed a lesson in trusting God; I just did in a whole new way. I miss that trust...and I long to get it back.
 As I was reading some older blog posts, I realized that I have kept with the original theme of "stationary mission" in more ways than I thought with regards to my daily life. Continuing to help patients in the doctor's office I work in is the only way I can really live out the mission to God's people. I think this has helped me to refocus the underlying theme of this blog. 
Gras a Dye!

Friendship & life.

Friendship


I came to a decision today about friendship. I often feel that lonely feeling where I am tempted to say "I have no friends" because I am not constantly surrounded by one group of people that share everything and have tons of good times. Today, I met an old friend for lunch on my way home from NH. This led me to think.

I have not seen this friend in probably a year or so, yet we had lunch and talked like it was a week ago when we last talked. I would rather the amazing friendships that I have like this, than trade it for a small group that I see weekly. To have so many people, spanning this country, that I may not see for weeks, months, or even years, that I can meet up with and have it be like we did not miss a beat, is a blessing beyond words.

Life


I am struggling. Let's face it, school and work are more than I can handle. Taking on responsibilities, training people, and being mentally exhausted before I even  head to school is not good. School is hard.

People keep telling me "but you are so close to being done with school!" Well, I know that. It doesn't seem to help me because I am not done yet and I'm overwhelmed now!!!


My faith is not that strong right now either. I mean I know God is here with me, so I guess that means it is strong, knowing though I don't feel it. But I have not had the best prayer life by definition and definitely need confession. I miss and long for Eucharist and for grace. I want to change my life and need God desperately to save me. (Maybe that will be another post this week).


Chris Sligh explains my life at this point!

7 Quick Takes - Friday!!!

7 Quick Takes, hosted over here!!! Conversion Diary!

Hi,

What a week!

1: I know I posted about it this week but just a reminder, Cholera outbreak in Haiti spread to Port au Prince! PRAY!!!!!!!!

2: I know more info about some guy that my co-worker wants to set me up with than I should probably know about someone without having met them....for someone who wants to get married, maybe I should be more open to these ideas, but I get so awkward when people talk about setting me up...

3: On that topic, if I could admit, I wish there were still arranged marriages! Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but honestly , the coworker who wants to set me up, she has a son, they're Catholic, and a really  nice family. My mom and her get along....so why can't they just agree that we should marry and be done with it...we can learn to love each other! I swear!.....

4: I need a mindset change. As I was venting to someone recently, I realized that the bulk of my "issues" lately are extremely self centered. If I wasn't so caught up in my own self, then I would be so much happier.

5: TOTALLY RANDOM: Did you know that there is a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera? It is only showing in London and it's called Love Never Dies Check it out!!!

6: It is a sad day in the world for me when I walked up to my friends college suite door (she shares a suite, which is compiled of like 6 or 7 bedrooms of 1 or 2 people each) and see a sign "Get Tested for Chlamydia"...is this what the world has come to? The college was advertising this.

7: And to finish, me and the friend I'm visiting just  baked cupcakes. YAY!

Catholocism? What? Who?

50 Catholics were killed in Iraq. If you aren't Catholic and don't read a Catholic news site, chances are you had no idea.

The actual Terrorist Attack Article here!

I sat in my "religion" class last night as someone randomly  brought this up towards the end of class by saying "well weren't a bunch of Christians just killed in Iraq or something?" and I spoke up and said "Terrorists went into a Catholic Church, killed 2 priests and many others, taking people hostage" The professor looked shocked that he hadn't heard of this and quietly said, "I should have known about that"

Then I realized something esle. CNN has a bunch of mini stories that I watched yesterday. Mostly unheard of things like "Man in wheelchair tackles robber" and such. The big story was the student protest that turned violent in London.

Did anyone in the world care about the Catholics targeted and killed? Please pray for the repose of their souls and for mercy upon the terrorists who planned and carried out this attack.

Pleading for Haiti

Hi readers!

Please please pray for Haiti! The cholera outbreak has hit and is now traveling through Port au Prince the capitol. If it is not contained, it can be a huge detriment to the city, since sanitation and hygiene are so poor with the majority of inhabitants of the city still living out of poorly constructed tents since last January's earthquake. Here in the US, if our house burns, usually we can go stay with family, or have home insurance to rebuild...in Haiti, an earthquake happened 10 months ago and people are living in the same small tent for 10 months. They are not awaiting their rebuild of their previous home to be finished. They are in their new home for the most part.

Please pray as this could wipe out a large number of people. Pray for God's mercy, love and healing to resonate through this small country!

Pure Exhaustion

Pure exhaustion is how I know for sure that God dwells within me.

Today I have had patience and trained a few people throughout the day...without losing my mind. Yes, now that everyone has gone, I find I  have almost no energy to even walk...but I'd rather be able to save face, even if only for the 7.5 hours I am at work.

I read somewhere or heard in a talk at some time that when you have nothing left to give of yourself, give Christ. I feel that today has been one of those days. I had nothing left to start with yet I was able to give.

How is this possible?

Christ dwells within me, the presence of the Holy Spirit was sealed within me through the grace of the Sacraments I've received. When I, as a human being, have absolutely nothing else left within me to give of my own accord, I give what it left: Christ

I know now why it is important to build our lives on the Firm Foundation of Jesus Christ. Because underneath all that we are, and when our fortress of grace, our walls of protection, and all of our gifts been used, we are not left completely empty. Our God gives through us. Our God lives in us. Our God makes it possible for us to keep on being.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for moving in me today and for keeping me going. I could not make it without you. I pray for those around me, that they too will be inspired to make You their firm foundation for that when they have given it all, there will be You to give more! I offer up Haiti in a special way today as they have confirmed the Cholera outbreak has spread to Port au Prince. Lord, Have Mercy on your People! Amen!

Look back and Laugh?

Maybe I will laugh later in life about the amount of time my co-worker spends on finding me a good husband. I sure am laughing now. She found out about this son of a friend of hers, and coincidently, the parents of this man, live a few doors from my parents. I find myself laughing over all of the ways in which she can find ways to connect herself to this man. She knows his parents well, she knows someone who's husband works with him, and another lady who works with him.

Then her youngest son met someone who once swam with my co-worker's older son. He's now on the list as a possibility too.

I find so much joy in how excited she gets in possibly being the one to introduce me to a good man to marry.

Baptism!

Today I will become a Godmother again!

I will add Isabella to the growing list! Please offer a prayer for her today as she begins her life in Christ!

I must say that having 5 Godchildren is quite a blessing! Getting so familiar with Baptisms is such a treat too because it's the very beginning. I know God formed Isabella in the womb, kept her save for 9 months, and brought her into this world safely on her birthday....but today is the day where the original sin of her humanity will be washed clean.

Pray for her parents as well. Today is not only a big day for Isabella, but today I will go to Mass with her parents for the first time ever since their wedding. I've known Stacey since high school and always tried to invite her to Mass, and she always wanted to go but never made it happen. They were going to start going back to church after the wedding....then after I moved into town....but it didn't happen. So last week, they went to Mass where they got married, and are going to register there and go every week. Prayers answered!

What a truly Blessed Day today!

"No Duh!"

Did anyone ever say that to you when you were a kid? I'm not sure what it even means. It insinuates that you didn't know something relatively obvious...but why no duh? I don't get that...but I just had that type of moment just now.

"No Duh Kristina"

I had gotten a scare this week: my account with school said my balance was, get ready....$2,390 or something in that general ballpark. If you didn't know, I spent my emergency fund to replace my tires and pay for an extra class I took in the first 8 weeks of school. Not okay!

I also have been trying to understand the reason for the lost cell phone. (that story here)

"No Duh Kristina"

This morning I got an email back from the Accounting office at Albertus after I asked for options to pay them..."Kristina, this is your balance because your Financial Aid hasn't been dispersed yet, it takes a few weeks for that to come in, but you have plenty coming to cover it all..."

I can now see the "No Duh" turning into God saying pretty clearly "Trust me, I've got you in the palm of my  hand"

I am so amazed that, although I'm such a sinner, and although I don't always trust Him, He still has me in His hands. He still offers opportunity for grace, mercy, and He still guides me.

Dear God, you amaze me daily. Thank you so much for the endless love, mercy and guidance you give me. Bless all of those around me with this realization so we can all bask in your Glory forever! Amen!

edit: moments after posting this, I went to facebook...a new message in my inbox? Hmm...it's a message from my co-worker's son Greg..."my  mom thinks she found a phone for you..." Gras a Dye! No Duh! Of course He's got it covered!

7 Quick Takes-hosted at Conversiondiary.com!

Hi all! Here are my first ever (correctly posted) 7 Quick Takes for Friday!

-1-

This week I made it to all of my classes on the right night! And all weren't that bad! Some of my fellow Christians in my religious studies class posed questions back to our doubting Tom professor that made me smile as he totally avoided answers. If you are going to go up against the faith the Christians, at least answer them when they know more than you ;) And my really tough Psych prof. gave me a compliment in my interpreting philosophy. Major scores for the week!

-2-

Major prayers needed: For a very close friend and household sister Gretchen. Please keep her in your prayers this week on a private intention. Thank you. Also, keep praying for Haiti. On top of the earthquake which they have not even closely recovered from and a cholera outbreak in one area, the rain/wind of Hurricane Tomas are hitting them harder through tonight and tomorrow before leaving!

-3-

I should be getting a promotion at work...which is good because I could use the money and it will allow me to actually make comments about the dumb and ridiculous things my co-workers do instead of doing their jobs how they were trained! Though I haven't stopped wondering if I should just quit and ask my co-worker to hire me to work for her husband's company. I think I'd be happier.

-4-

Marry me?: The same Co-worker from #3 is pretty convinced that it is her job to find my husband. Personally, I'm glad because I just simply don't have time to look for him right now. My mom and I discussed tonight that we're going to start praying that God will lead her to my husband so we can stop worrying. So far there is a 27 year old teacher (who is being set up with someone else first so I have to wait) and a 30 yr old independent man with 3 jobs (who's parents live on the same street as my parents and they own my favorite pizza place, sweet!).

-5-

I hate money. Which may be a contradiction because in #3 I said a promotion would be good for money. But I really hate it. It causes me to worry too much...I'm trying to trust God...and money makes me distracted from trusting. So therefore, I believe that the saying "Money is the root of all evil"

-6-

I'm getting new pots and pans tomorrow as a present from my parents for my birthday! I chose that over new clothes. I believe this is how I know that I'm an adult. I am SO excited about these pans! Check them out here! I have a gift card to help defray costs too!  And after we get them, she's going to help me finish settling into my apartment...yea, it's only taken 6 months!

-7-

I lost my cell phone. Yup. No idea where it is. My nephew  (2 years old) probably has it stashed at my sister's house somewhere...I can picture him taking it out, sliding it open and shut, saying "Auntie....Thomas....Train Table" because that's all he said to me last weekend. With all the money talk, I'm obviously not trying to buy a new phone...just trying to find someone with a phone that will take my extra sim card...my co-worker, who's on the finding husband duty, also thinks she'll have a phone for me. LOVE her!

The end! Thanks for reading! This is fun!

Discern the Lesson?

Well my friends, I think it is official that my cell phone is lost completely. While on the one hand, I have loved not having an added distraction in my life this week, there are moments when I realize what a good tool it is to have. For instance, when I'm on my way to work and get stuck in traffic and realize I will definitely be more than 30 minutes late. To not be able to call, in my opinion, is unprofessional. Also, when I need to tell someone if I'm running late to meet them for dinner. And on my way home from school, and I thought I'd confirm plans with my mom for tomorrow night.

I just don't know. I just renewed my cell contract so not replacing it at all is dumb because I'd still have to pay the termination fee (prob. around $200 or so). Replacing it is cheaper but still not the kind of money I just have laying around to spend on that. So I'm hoping that someone I know has an old T-mobile phone I can just activate on my plan. Of course, I'm going to the mall kiosk first because last time I did that the sales guy said "um, I have this extra phone personally, and I'll give it to you for free, but I have to walk out of the mall with you and give it to you there..." It was a huge blessing then and I will chance it happening again.

I am trying my hardest to see the lesson here. If it was that I can survive without a cell phone, I definitely get it, and if it weren't for the termination fee, I would ditch it, and just get a "Go" phone to have in case of emergencies. So other lessons....not sure quite yet but can't wait to see what God uses this to teach me!

The good part: I trust from the start this time that there is a lesson here somewhere!

Excited!

You may notice there are some posts missing. After a week full of trying to make my blog into something great, I realized through some good advice to just go back to my original desire to blog. To write about what I'm passionate about. The original reason I started this blog to record my experience with learning how to be a missionary in my daily life, mostly in regards to Haiti.

I think I lost touch with that whole idea since I got to go to Haiti. Yet, here I am again, not having reached perfection by any means, waiting on the Lord to lead me back to that amazingly special place. And with still more to learn about daily mission work and plenty of room for me to grow, I have to remember one thing: Forcing anything is never fruitful. Just as I waited patiently for my first opportunity to go to Haiti, I will again wait patiently for the next time. I will wait for this blog to develop into whatever God may call it to be.

Getting back to the basic inspiration for this blog, I will try to remember that God is the one leading my journey, not me. Clearly, I tried to run the show here and I made a schedule, which I ultimately messed up a few times last week. So I'm starting from "scratch" and will see where God, and this blog, take me. Thanks for joining the journey...the journey to completion.