Monday, February 22, 2010


I want to go to Haiti
I want to be a bigger part of the team
I want to learn Creole
I want to fit in
I want, want want want want.
On Sunday, I had a "bad" day. I mean in the grand scheme, it was a great day. I slept, ate, was able to watch a movie, then later on, I got to see my friends, eat again, and enjoy the company of others.

I say "bad" day because I spend most of the first half of it saying the list of things I wrote above. Today, I get back to the reality of the fact that I want to live according to God's will. And as we know from scripture,

"The Lord is my Shepard, there is nothing I shall want"

All of these th ings and more, I have to lay at the feet of Jesus and pick up what He wants of me.

I'm pretty sure one of those things, is to remain stationary. This weekend I went back to my own Church for the first time in a month or so. And I was reminded why I love it so much. I think a new stationary mission (aside from this blog) is going to begin there. I'm trying to start a weekly holy hour for Haiti. Eventually, I'd love to learn and help others to learn prayers in Creole, but for now, just pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti and the continued success of the MWTS Mission.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Yesterday was the one month anniversary of the Earthquake in Haiti.

Last night, I went to a healing Mass. As people were going up to get prayed over, I opened a book that I keep in my purse called "My Daily Bread" put out by the Confraternity of the Precious Blood.

It's made up of small chapters and written mainly as a daily devotional to draw one to perfection of holiness.

In each little chapter there is 3 parts. Christ (a message from God), Think: (written in first person what we are to think) and Pray: a prayer to do the things in parts 1 and 2.

I randomly opened to Chapter 37, in Book Two, Part Two (that's how its all divided up). It's title was "Interior Transformation"

I read and it spoke to my heart...every line. It spoke of offering everything in order to attain grace for others. And in the last lines of the Think section, "The more I devote myself to the imitation of Christ in my daily life, the more actual graces can I obtain for people throughout the world" 

And the last line of the Pray section: "You have granted me the privilage of helpng You in this glorious task.....I hope to keep before my eyes the grand, worldwide mission which You have laid before me-the mission of gaining actual graces for people in need."

I praise you Lord for calling us to help accomplish your mission of salvation. A mission that is not just for priests and religious, and even more, a mission that does not even require that we go anywhere. From any place and time, we can offer ourselves for graces to be poured out onto others! May we be able to do this especially for our Haitian brothers and sisters in their dire time of need. And for others in all parts of the world! Amen!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Class - Holiness

I am sitting in my Psychological Assessment class. I finally got a laptop that I could actually register with Albertus to use wireless here on campus. Praise the Lord! So when questions that are asked that I do not really need to know. I go online. Like now.

I can't stop thinking about Haiti.
Lately I've also been thinking a lot about holiness. I keep thinking about the movies I watched on Saturday about Pope John Paul II (Karol: A Man Who Became Pope and Karol: The Pope, The Man) and how I want to know the Christ he knew in order to be as holy like he was. And I realized this:

I do know Christ. I can grow in holiness. And I think it must be a great sadness to Christ that so many Christians see other holy people, even assume holiness in others so much, and focus on that so much, that we miss out on opportunities for ourselves to grow in holiness and closer to Christ.
Does that make sense? I'm pretty sure it does. I just thought of how many people I put up on pedestals and say "Wow they are soo close to God" and if I spoke/thought that less, I'd be closer to Jesus. And it's confirmed to me by a quote in the movie "The Wedding Date" which is altogether nothing close to a religious/holy movie. But at point one character says "I've had her up on a pedestal ever since...well ever since I put her up there". If we spend less time putting others on pedestals, we'd be much holier.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

"Mini" Mission

Tonight I was at a concert of a band that used to sing at the Church I used to go to. They are doing a benefit concert for Haiti two nights before the MWTS concert Sean is doing. The show will be in the gym at St. James Church in Stratford CT. Thursday, Feb. 18th at 7pm. The money they raise will go to MWTS Mission Haiti. When I heard this, I just felt called to tell the story, to be a voice for those in Haiti.

I talked with my dear friend who sings for the band tonight at the concert. I asked him if I could please read some excerpts from the notes that Johnna has been posting on facebook about the village, so they can hear first hand the amazing stories, and know what their money is going to support. He agreed to let me at the start of the show. Before or after they show the video that is on the website. I hope that I can truly do her words justice.

I doubt I will be able to do it without tears, and possibly even laughter. I just hope that God will allow the hope and joy of the Haitian people to be present to those who attend the concert to inspire their greatest generosity.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I am the world's worst fast-er. I either give in or forget.

And I fell into the "Ignorance is Bliss" category by making the excuse of well "I don't know if that means I can only have bread and water, and I don't understand 2 small meals and 1 large meal, in America, what is a small meal?"

So lately, in my search for giving things up, and the ability to give things up, discipline must be growing within me. I always hear people say, "pray for patience, and God will give you something to wait for". Well that made me nervous to pray for discipline, but I did a while ago. I was living very "freely" according to the world, doing whatever I pleased and whenever. I just knew that it wasn't leading me anywhere good.

Then I realized that there are so many needs of others and so many excesses in my life. If I could make some sacrifices, maybe other's needs could be met.

Last Friday, I decided that I could just fast, and make my own rules instead of claiming ignorance. I decided to not eat meat. Today, one week later, I tried the small meals (meals with sides) and no snacking in between and no meat. It's going well. I realize a lot of discipline going on that I did not know I had.

Then Johnna updated her status today that they had 200 people attend a fast on a mountain they did in Haiti today. In my best success in fasting thus far in my life, I found the people of Haiti were fasting too. I felt connected at that moment. (That's the only reason I'm posting again today)

Gras a Dye!


“Just think! The soul who falls in love with God—she who is a servant and a slave ransomed by the blood of God’s Son—gains such dignity that she can no longer be called a ‘servant,’ but an ‘empress,’ the spouse of the Eternal Emperor.” Catherine of Siena

Carmen Acevedo Butcher
A Little Daily Wisdom, Paraclete Press

Franciscan E-spiration of the Day.

Dear God, please draw to me to such loving service so that you may call me empres.

I could meditate on this quote for days...and I think I will.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

quick note

Tonight, for the first time ever in live, I found myself having a conversation with someone in which my strong faith was brought up in a positive light. I shared about how God is my strength/foundation, and in having that, it really eliminates fears of the future and it's easier to step out.

In the past, anytime I tried sharing about my faith to someone, especially someone older, I always feel like a small child trying to proove herself.

Tonight, I felt strong and confident. I think this growth, this confidence, is from what I learned previously in my last blog about laying down my life.

If we lay down our lives for others, truly for God, then He will use us in any way, by any means. I guess this is his way of developing my missionary skills.

Right here, where I am.



This week, in offering up different things for Johnna in particular (one of the two Americans with MWTS who is in Haiti being the orphanage mom), I learned something I hadn't thought of before.

Johnna had written an update this week that touched my heart in a new way. I think part of me noticed that although she is strong, she needed consolation in order to keep from breaking since the situation there changes daily and is kinda hectic. (This of course is totally my own interpretation so I apologize if I missed the boat)

So I had been offering up sitting through class or being at work, or difficult patients. Then as I got ready for bed, I said "I'm going to offer up my good night sleep for Johnna and those in the village who probably aren't getting a good night sleep" Now to me, that sounded funny. So I thought I was coming up wiht this novel idea of offering up the good and the bad....then today on my way to work, I recalled a song, "I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone" And at lunch I recalled my household verse, "Give yourselves as sacrifice to God". Your very self. And my self if you will, includes good and bad...things I enjoy, things I don't and I don't have to wait for the bad/sorrow/struggles in order to "offer it up".

Therefore, I realize that it's possible, in my current state of being, I can still lay down my entire life for this Mission.

Third Day Song, Offering:
The only thing that I can give You

Is the life You gave to me
This is my offering, dear Lord
This is my offering to You, God
And I will give You my life
For it’s all I have to give
Because You gave Your life for me
I stand before You at this altar
So many have given You more
I may not have much I can offer
Yet what I have is truly Yours

Beginning a Blog

From all of the people I know who have started a blog, it's usually related to a topic of their life. I.e.: Motherhood, travels, missions, etc.

I am starting this as a blog for my unmoving mission. Funny huh?

Well here's the deal: I am involved in a ministry that has a mission in Haiti. Check out this entire deal at for more details on the mission. Ever since last summer, I've had a fire burning in me to go to Haiti. It never seems to work. I know a lot of people who have been there on a mission, know people who are there now working and living, etc. It does not seem to be in God's will just yet for me to go there. But I still feel very strongly that I am to be involved. The most strong call I've had on my heart is to pray. And pray hard for Haiti. The desire to spend time in prayer, offering up daily activities, joys, sorrows/struggles, has grown increasingly large since the earthquake in January.

So, in the spirit of St. Therese of the Little Flower, who wanted to be all vocations to all people, I'm going to blog about my "non" journey, "unmoving" mission for Haiti.

As St. Therese sacrificed doing mission work or every possible vocation physically, to join with Jesus to do those things in her heart through love, I will try to keep joy in knowing that Jesus in on a mission in Haiti, and if I join my heart to his from here, my desire to do great things for Haiti will be fulfilled in Christ.

You'll also have to deal with me trying to pick up some minor Creole because it fascinates me and I really do hope to eventually down the road physically go there if it be God's will!