Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Funny Thing: Trust

A funny thing happened yesterday. A dear friend of mine asked me how Haiti was. I started to share and before I knew it I was sharing something I hadn't even realized until the words came out. And it all makes sense to how I've been living since I got back.


I was telling her that going to Haiti, and seeing the children, who immediately were joyful to have us there, have a confidence in you. They see missionaries, and they know, "Here are more people who will love me with their whole hearts, hold me, take care of me." They have learned with the groups coming/going, that when a group comes, it is full of people who will love them and play with them. They trust.

Then, if children trust in me with their whole hearts, then how much more should I trust the God who sent his Son to love and provide for me.

I trust that He loves me unconditionally. I trust that He has a plan, just for me. The unfolding of that plan intertwines with the plans of a lot of other children of God. The important thing I'm realizing is that not one person's plan can be carried out alone, it is all dependent and woven on another person's journey.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I haven't posted too much because school has begun. And while I'm only there one night a week, the work is hefty. I'm mostly busy doing graphic design stuff. That class is very interesting but definitely more of a challenge than I thought.

My favorite is my Humanities class. I didn't think that could ever be possible. Previously at Albertus, I've had the "I'm a liberal, you should abandon all previous opinions about life and history, and accept my views cause I'm smart and your a dumb student" type of professor. And now, I have a more philosophical, "let's learn from each other because we're all human beings seeking deeper knowledge"

What I've learned and thought about in the past two weeks through this class is amazing. Mostly, I've learned how to really get into a deep contemplative place in my mind, to contemplate deep matters of being, of life. It's like being in a different world.

It has led me to very deep thoughts as I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, which sometimes only brings me to greater awareness and alertness, keeping me from sleep. I read the Apology and the Phaedo by Plato for the first time through this class...and I keep meditating still on the words of Socrates to one of his followers about death. How, as philosophers, they view the goal of life to think of things related to the soul, to find truth in what that is and such...and how that means for them that death (the separation of the body from the soul) is actually not a bad thing because then if they are only soul, they can be free from the distraction of the body (basic needs and distractiosn like food and surroundings)'s a crazy idea...but we believe that as Catholics too. In a way. At death, my soul is what lives on, the only death is of the body. Then I can be free from worldy, bodily distractions (appearance, needs, etc) and focus soley (pun intended) on the matters of the soul!

If we meditate on this, we will not fear death, but accept it whenever it may come.