I just spent an entire weekend wondering what my purpose was being present on a retreat. Just to realize my purpose was to be present. My purpose was to witness the events, experience them, and be. I think so many times we see an opportunity to serve and think "mission, I'm on a mission, my purpose is to fix...save...repair...share my life...convert" (insert appropriate word for you)
So busy figuring out what to do, that we miss the fact that we were just supposed to be.
After hearing so many stories of missionaries that go to Haiti, one common thread I hear is something like this "I went there to change/help them, and they changed/helped me 100 times more" Which leads me to the next lesson God has taught me in order to prepare my heart.
What I learned this weekend was mostly to just simply not even think of what might be the plan or purpose, but to just focus on trusting God's plan whatever it may involve so that your mind and heart are not cluttered. If we clutter our minds and hearts, we miss something because we never are able to keep in mind all that God could possibly have in store for us.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Preparation
A word I do not really like. I like to "discern" something then do it. Apparently God's plan for Haiti in my life is different altogether. It requires preparation.
Lately, I've embarked on a mini-mission here. At work I've randomly ended up in situations where people have been presented to me to help them. While I always try to help by giving directions or giving a phone number from memory to avoid a long drawn out search, this is new. Patient's in wheel chairs that I got to help get them where they needed to go. I think twice now. But the moments are so profound to me, that it seems like a million times.
It was beautiful both days to just experience the lives of others who physically couldn't do for themselves. I hope they experienced Christ that day because I sure did through them.
Lately, I've embarked on a mini-mission here. At work I've randomly ended up in situations where people have been presented to me to help them. While I always try to help by giving directions or giving a phone number from memory to avoid a long drawn out search, this is new. Patient's in wheel chairs that I got to help get them where they needed to go. I think twice now. But the moments are so profound to me, that it seems like a million times.
It was beautiful both days to just experience the lives of others who physically couldn't do for themselves. I hope they experienced Christ that day because I sure did through them.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
An Update From Johnna
It's been a while since we've heard yet another update from Johnna in Haiti. The internet and then the electricity went down. She was able to squeeze in an update somehow.
I couldn't help but notice in her note certain words that have struck a cord in my personal life. She mentioned that they spent a week in Port Au Prince looking for orphans to bring back to the village. She mentioned what an ADVENTURE it was. Adventure was the word confirming that I am to move to a new town once my current lease is up.
She spoke of a recent day or two that the WIND was so strong everyone dressed in long pants and hooded sweatshirts (an oddity I'm sure for the heat of Haiti), and the past two days here in my town we've had a huge rain storm, with winds so bad that when I went out yesterday, sometimes I could barely open my car door and sometimes I could barely pull it shut. The trees looked like hurricane footage from the news. (Not too typical of CT weather)
After feeling so distant from Haiti in my heart, this update from Johnna brought me right back in my desire to never forget to pray, never to forget the mission that God has put on my heart. On Saturday morning, two doctors from my office (two of my favorite actually), Trauma surgeons, left for Haiti to help the injured/sick. This Wednesday, more friends will be able to on mission there.
And here I stay, strongly reminded of this also important stationary mission of the heart. Going spiritually where I can not go physically until God's will allows. Blessed Mother, wrap those doctors, your missionaries and the people of Haiti in your Mantle of protection today and forever and present them holy and perfect at the feet of your Son on the Cross that His blood may pour over them, wash them, and make them new! Amen!
I couldn't help but notice in her note certain words that have struck a cord in my personal life. She mentioned that they spent a week in Port Au Prince looking for orphans to bring back to the village. She mentioned what an ADVENTURE it was. Adventure was the word confirming that I am to move to a new town once my current lease is up.
She spoke of a recent day or two that the WIND was so strong everyone dressed in long pants and hooded sweatshirts (an oddity I'm sure for the heat of Haiti), and the past two days here in my town we've had a huge rain storm, with winds so bad that when I went out yesterday, sometimes I could barely open my car door and sometimes I could barely pull it shut. The trees looked like hurricane footage from the news. (Not too typical of CT weather)
After feeling so distant from Haiti in my heart, this update from Johnna brought me right back in my desire to never forget to pray, never to forget the mission that God has put on my heart. On Saturday morning, two doctors from my office (two of my favorite actually), Trauma surgeons, left for Haiti to help the injured/sick. This Wednesday, more friends will be able to on mission there.
And here I stay, strongly reminded of this also important stationary mission of the heart. Going spiritually where I can not go physically until God's will allows. Blessed Mother, wrap those doctors, your missionaries and the people of Haiti in your Mantle of protection today and forever and present them holy and perfect at the feet of your Son on the Cross that His blood may pour over them, wash them, and make them new! Amen!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Humility
I want to go to Haiti
I want to be a bigger part of the team
I want to learn Creole
I want to fit in
I want, want want want want.
======================
On Sunday, I had a "bad" day. I mean in the grand scheme, it was a great day. I slept, ate, was able to watch a movie, then later on, I got to see my friends, eat again, and enjoy the company of others.
I say "bad" day because I spend most of the first half of it saying the list of things I wrote above. Today, I get back to the reality of the fact that I want to live according to God's will. And as we know from scripture,
"The Lord is my Shepard, there is nothing I shall want"
All of these th ings and more, I have to lay at the feet of Jesus and pick up what He wants of me.
I'm pretty sure one of those things, is to remain stationary. This weekend I went back to my own Church for the first time in a month or so. And I was reminded why I love it so much. I think a new stationary mission (aside from this blog) is going to begin there. I'm trying to start a weekly holy hour for Haiti. Eventually, I'd love to learn and help others to learn prayers in Creole, but for now, just pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti and the continued success of the MWTS Mission.
I want to be a bigger part of the team
I want to learn Creole
I want to fit in
I want, want want want want.
======================
On Sunday, I had a "bad" day. I mean in the grand scheme, it was a great day. I slept, ate, was able to watch a movie, then later on, I got to see my friends, eat again, and enjoy the company of others.
I say "bad" day because I spend most of the first half of it saying the list of things I wrote above. Today, I get back to the reality of the fact that I want to live according to God's will. And as we know from scripture,
"The Lord is my Shepard, there is nothing I shall want"
All of these th ings and more, I have to lay at the feet of Jesus and pick up what He wants of me.
I'm pretty sure one of those things, is to remain stationary. This weekend I went back to my own Church for the first time in a month or so. And I was reminded why I love it so much. I think a new stationary mission (aside from this blog) is going to begin there. I'm trying to start a weekly holy hour for Haiti. Eventually, I'd love to learn and help others to learn prayers in Creole, but for now, just pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti and the continued success of the MWTS Mission.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Haiti
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of the Earthquake in Haiti.
Last night, I went to a healing Mass. As people were going up to get prayed over, I opened a book that I keep in my purse called "My Daily Bread" put out by the Confraternity of the Precious Blood.
It's made up of small chapters and written mainly as a daily devotional to draw one to perfection of holiness.
In each little chapter there is 3 parts. Christ (a message from God), Think: (written in first person what we are to think) and Pray: a prayer to do the things in parts 1 and 2.
I randomly opened to Chapter 37, in Book Two, Part Two (that's how its all divided up). It's title was "Interior Transformation"
I read and it spoke to my heart...every line. It spoke of offering everything in order to attain grace for others. And in the last lines of the Think section, "The more I devote myself to the imitation of Christ in my daily life, the more actual graces can I obtain for people throughout the world"
And the last line of the Pray section: "You have granted me the privilage of helpng You in this glorious task.....I hope to keep before my eyes the grand, worldwide mission which You have laid before me-the mission of gaining actual graces for people in need."
I praise you Lord for calling us to help accomplish your mission of salvation. A mission that is not just for priests and religious, and even more, a mission that does not even require that we go anywhere. From any place and time, we can offer ourselves for graces to be poured out onto others! May we be able to do this especially for our Haitian brothers and sisters in their dire time of need. And for others in all parts of the world! Amen!
Last night, I went to a healing Mass. As people were going up to get prayed over, I opened a book that I keep in my purse called "My Daily Bread" put out by the Confraternity of the Precious Blood.
It's made up of small chapters and written mainly as a daily devotional to draw one to perfection of holiness.
In each little chapter there is 3 parts. Christ (a message from God), Think: (written in first person what we are to think) and Pray: a prayer to do the things in parts 1 and 2.
I randomly opened to Chapter 37, in Book Two, Part Two (that's how its all divided up). It's title was "Interior Transformation"
I read and it spoke to my heart...every line. It spoke of offering everything in order to attain grace for others. And in the last lines of the Think section, "The more I devote myself to the imitation of Christ in my daily life, the more actual graces can I obtain for people throughout the world"
And the last line of the Pray section: "You have granted me the privilage of helpng You in this glorious task.....I hope to keep before my eyes the grand, worldwide mission which You have laid before me-the mission of gaining actual graces for people in need."
I praise you Lord for calling us to help accomplish your mission of salvation. A mission that is not just for priests and religious, and even more, a mission that does not even require that we go anywhere. From any place and time, we can offer ourselves for graces to be poured out onto others! May we be able to do this especially for our Haitian brothers and sisters in their dire time of need. And for others in all parts of the world! Amen!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Class - Holiness
I am sitting in my Psychological Assessment class. I finally got a laptop that I could actually register with Albertus to use wireless here on campus. Praise the Lord! So when questions that are asked that I do not really need to know. I go online. Like now.
I can't stop thinking about Haiti.
Lately I've also been thinking a lot about holiness. I keep thinking about the movies I watched on Saturday about Pope John Paul II (Karol: A Man Who Became Pope and Karol: The Pope, The Man) and how I want to know the Christ he knew in order to be as holy like he was. And I realized this:
I do know Christ. I can grow in holiness. And I think it must be a great sadness to Christ that so many Christians see other holy people, even assume holiness in others so much, and focus on that so much, that we miss out on opportunities for ourselves to grow in holiness and closer to Christ.
Does that make sense? I'm pretty sure it does. I just thought of how many people I put up on pedestals and say "Wow they are soo close to God" and if I spoke/thought that less, I'd be closer to Jesus. And it's confirmed to me by a quote in the movie "The Wedding Date" which is altogether nothing close to a religious/holy movie. But at point one character says "I've had her up on a pedestal ever since...well ever since I put her up there". If we spend less time putting others on pedestals, we'd be much holier.
I can't stop thinking about Haiti.
Lately I've also been thinking a lot about holiness. I keep thinking about the movies I watched on Saturday about Pope John Paul II (Karol: A Man Who Became Pope and Karol: The Pope, The Man) and how I want to know the Christ he knew in order to be as holy like he was. And I realized this:
I do know Christ. I can grow in holiness. And I think it must be a great sadness to Christ that so many Christians see other holy people, even assume holiness in others so much, and focus on that so much, that we miss out on opportunities for ourselves to grow in holiness and closer to Christ.
Does that make sense? I'm pretty sure it does. I just thought of how many people I put up on pedestals and say "Wow they are soo close to God" and if I spoke/thought that less, I'd be closer to Jesus. And it's confirmed to me by a quote in the movie "The Wedding Date" which is altogether nothing close to a religious/holy movie. But at point one character says "I've had her up on a pedestal ever since...well ever since I put her up there". If we spend less time putting others on pedestals, we'd be much holier.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
"Mini" Mission
Tonight I was at a concert of a band that used to sing at the Church I used to go to. They are doing a benefit concert for Haiti two nights before the MWTS concert Sean is doing. The show will be in the gym at St. James Church in Stratford CT. Thursday, Feb. 18th at 7pm. The money they raise will go to MWTS Mission Haiti. When I heard this, I just felt called to tell the story, to be a voice for those in Haiti.
I talked with my dear friend who sings for the band tonight at the concert. I asked him if I could please read some excerpts from the notes that Johnna has been posting on facebook about the village, so they can hear first hand the amazing stories, and know what their money is going to support. He agreed to let me at the start of the show. Before or after they show the video that is on the website. I hope that I can truly do her words justice.
I doubt I will be able to do it without tears, and possibly even laughter. I just hope that God will allow the hope and joy of the Haitian people to be present to those who attend the concert to inspire their greatest generosity.
I talked with my dear friend who sings for the band tonight at the concert. I asked him if I could please read some excerpts from the notes that Johnna has been posting on facebook about the village, so they can hear first hand the amazing stories, and know what their money is going to support. He agreed to let me at the start of the show. Before or after they show the video that is on the website. I hope that I can truly do her words justice.
I doubt I will be able to do it without tears, and possibly even laughter. I just hope that God will allow the hope and joy of the Haitian people to be present to those who attend the concert to inspire their greatest generosity.
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