Fishing and Shepherding

If you have attended Catholic Mass this weekend, you heard the Gospel reading from John 21:1-19 (or 1-14 if they did the shorter version). 

During the homily, I caught this one thing the priest said that I felt needed to be reflected on further. He said, "Today's gospel reading is mostly fishing and shepherding."

The first half of this passage, we see the disciples were at sea fishing, having no luck. Jesus was on the shore and instructed where to cast for fish. They followed his instruction and were successful. 

The second half of this passage, we see Jesus speaking to Simon Peter:

"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to Simon Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” Jesus said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that Jesus had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep."

It may seem strange that these two things are chosen to be read together in one Sunday. Looking at the surface level only, what does fishing and shepherding even have to do with each other? When we look deeper, we see not only the importance of them together, but even the reason for their order. 

Think earlier in the story of Jesus, when he is gathering the disciples, he tells them at one point "I will make you fishers of men". Here, in the most simplest understanding, Jesus reminds them of this original call and that when they follow His direction, there will be triumph in the task. Put yourself in their shoes, life was good. They knew Jesus to be the Savior, then he died and appeared to them twice before this encounter. I am certain they must have been confused, processing all that had happened, trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do. He came to them this third time, "cast your nets to the right". As if to say, "don't you remember? Your task is simple, fish for men where I lead you". 

After reminding them of their mission, Jesus confirms the love Peter has for him and makes certain he is clear that his mission to lead the charge. Peter confessed his love for Jesus and was entrusted to feed and care for the lambs and sheep that belonged to God. 

Today, what does that mean for us? Maybe it means we should stand ready to here the voice of Jesus telling us where to 'cast our nets'. Maybe it means listening and obeying the ones who have confessed their love for Christ in a special way who have been entrusted with leading the charge in Peter's footsteps. 

Trust Trust Trust

Trust

Two days ago the very peace and trust that I experience in thinking about Haiti was creeping back into my mind and heart as the possibility of going back became slightly more realistic.

Yesterday, I was told some sad news, news that equals uncertainty. I should know that in a lesson to trust, God would provide me with a situation in which I have no choice but to trust Him. The news could mean we should expect change, the news could mean nothing may change for a while. We just do not know and we might never know for sure which way it could go.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

Haiti

A little over 10 months ago, people in Haiti were struggling to get by, poverty was widespread throughout the majority of the country. Then the rest of the world got some sad news. Unsure of whether or not things would remain the same, get better, or get worse, the people of Haiti trusted in God to provide, praised Him for surviving, and continued to be a family. Things got worse. A month ago, they were hit with a Cholera outbreak in one small area. It got worse. A hurricane came through and the Cholera outbreak spread to their Capital city of Port au Prince. Violent outbreaks are occuring, and the UN peacekeepers are shooting at people.

Imagine going through losing family members and your home, living out of a tent with probably not enough to eat or drink, and then have the peacekeepers shoot at you because your speaking out, trying to show your outrage for nothing being done.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

When we do not know what is coming, when we do not know how to handle what is happening in front of our eyes, trust....trust....trust!

Ayiti! Ayiti! Mwen pa kwe li!

I think that last part says "I can't believe it"

 What can't I believe?
It is possible that I may actually get to return to Haiti in the spring. Oh, the joy that fills my heart, even at the simple thought of it. The feelings of peace, trust, and joy begin to flood my soul as the reality of going back is before me.

I recall this moment when I first experienced it while in Haiti:

"I never had such peace and joy in my whole life...and to have it in such a moment was amazing because our truck was bumping all over the place, it was dark, and I was in an unknown place, with only one person I really knew well...but I had peace and joy. The kind that it felt like it was our Blessed Mother living right in my heart keeping me calm. The trust I had in Jesus during that truck ride, it was like I was somewhere else. I don't think I ever stopped smiling"

God had brought me somewhere completely foreign and I felt this way automatically. When our plane landed in Haiti in August, I no longer needed a lesson in trusting God; I just did in a whole new way. I miss that trust...and I long to get it back.
 As I was reading some older blog posts, I realized that I have kept with the original theme of "stationary mission" in more ways than I thought with regards to my daily life. Continuing to help patients in the doctor's office I work in is the only way I can really live out the mission to God's people. I think this has helped me to refocus the underlying theme of this blog. 
Gras a Dye!

"No Duh!"

Did anyone ever say that to you when you were a kid? I'm not sure what it even means. It insinuates that you didn't know something relatively obvious...but why no duh? I don't get that...but I just had that type of moment just now.

"No Duh Kristina"

I had gotten a scare this week: my account with school said my balance was, get ready....$2,390 or something in that general ballpark. If you didn't know, I spent my emergency fund to replace my tires and pay for an extra class I took in the first 8 weeks of school. Not okay!

I also have been trying to understand the reason for the lost cell phone. (that story here)

"No Duh Kristina"

This morning I got an email back from the Accounting office at Albertus after I asked for options to pay them..."Kristina, this is your balance because your Financial Aid hasn't been dispersed yet, it takes a few weeks for that to come in, but you have plenty coming to cover it all..."

I can now see the "No Duh" turning into God saying pretty clearly "Trust me, I've got you in the palm of my  hand"

I am so amazed that, although I'm such a sinner, and although I don't always trust Him, He still has me in His hands. He still offers opportunity for grace, mercy, and He still guides me.

Dear God, you amaze me daily. Thank you so much for the endless love, mercy and guidance you give me. Bless all of those around me with this realization so we can all bask in your Glory forever! Amen!

edit: moments after posting this, I went to facebook...a new message in my inbox? Hmm...it's a message from my co-worker's son Greg..."my  mom thinks she found a phone for you..." Gras a Dye! No Duh! Of course He's got it covered!

7 Quick Takes-hosted at Conversiondiary.com!

Hi all! Here are my first ever (correctly posted) 7 Quick Takes for Friday!

-1-

This week I made it to all of my classes on the right night! And all weren't that bad! Some of my fellow Christians in my religious studies class posed questions back to our doubting Tom professor that made me smile as he totally avoided answers. If you are going to go up against the faith the Christians, at least answer them when they know more than you ;) And my really tough Psych prof. gave me a compliment in my interpreting philosophy. Major scores for the week!

-2-

Major prayers needed: For a very close friend and household sister Gretchen. Please keep her in your prayers this week on a private intention. Thank you. Also, keep praying for Haiti. On top of the earthquake which they have not even closely recovered from and a cholera outbreak in one area, the rain/wind of Hurricane Tomas are hitting them harder through tonight and tomorrow before leaving!

-3-

I should be getting a promotion at work...which is good because I could use the money and it will allow me to actually make comments about the dumb and ridiculous things my co-workers do instead of doing their jobs how they were trained! Though I haven't stopped wondering if I should just quit and ask my co-worker to hire me to work for her husband's company. I think I'd be happier.

-4-

Marry me?: The same Co-worker from #3 is pretty convinced that it is her job to find my husband. Personally, I'm glad because I just simply don't have time to look for him right now. My mom and I discussed tonight that we're going to start praying that God will lead her to my husband so we can stop worrying. So far there is a 27 year old teacher (who is being set up with someone else first so I have to wait) and a 30 yr old independent man with 3 jobs (who's parents live on the same street as my parents and they own my favorite pizza place, sweet!).

-5-

I hate money. Which may be a contradiction because in #3 I said a promotion would be good for money. But I really hate it. It causes me to worry too much...I'm trying to trust God...and money makes me distracted from trusting. So therefore, I believe that the saying "Money is the root of all evil"

-6-

I'm getting new pots and pans tomorrow as a present from my parents for my birthday! I chose that over new clothes. I believe this is how I know that I'm an adult. I am SO excited about these pans! Check them out here! I have a gift card to help defray costs too!  And after we get them, she's going to help me finish settling into my apartment...yea, it's only taken 6 months!

-7-

I lost my cell phone. Yup. No idea where it is. My nephew  (2 years old) probably has it stashed at my sister's house somewhere...I can picture him taking it out, sliding it open and shut, saying "Auntie....Thomas....Train Table" because that's all he said to me last weekend. With all the money talk, I'm obviously not trying to buy a new phone...just trying to find someone with a phone that will take my extra sim card...my co-worker, who's on the finding husband duty, also thinks she'll have a phone for me. LOVE her!

The end! Thanks for reading! This is fun!