Trust Trust Trust

Trust

Two days ago the very peace and trust that I experience in thinking about Haiti was creeping back into my mind and heart as the possibility of going back became slightly more realistic.

Yesterday, I was told some sad news, news that equals uncertainty. I should know that in a lesson to trust, God would provide me with a situation in which I have no choice but to trust Him. The news could mean we should expect change, the news could mean nothing may change for a while. We just do not know and we might never know for sure which way it could go.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

Haiti

A little over 10 months ago, people in Haiti were struggling to get by, poverty was widespread throughout the majority of the country. Then the rest of the world got some sad news. Unsure of whether or not things would remain the same, get better, or get worse, the people of Haiti trusted in God to provide, praised Him for surviving, and continued to be a family. Things got worse. A month ago, they were hit with a Cholera outbreak in one small area. It got worse. A hurricane came through and the Cholera outbreak spread to their Capital city of Port au Prince. Violent outbreaks are occuring, and the UN peacekeepers are shooting at people.

Imagine going through losing family members and your home, living out of a tent with probably not enough to eat or drink, and then have the peacekeepers shoot at you because your speaking out, trying to show your outrage for nothing being done.

What else can we do but trust in God's providence?

When we do not know what is coming, when we do not know how to handle what is happening in front of our eyes, trust....trust....trust!

Ayiti! Ayiti! Mwen pa kwe li!

I think that last part says "I can't believe it"

 What can't I believe?
It is possible that I may actually get to return to Haiti in the spring. Oh, the joy that fills my heart, even at the simple thought of it. The feelings of peace, trust, and joy begin to flood my soul as the reality of going back is before me.

I recall this moment when I first experienced it while in Haiti:

"I never had such peace and joy in my whole life...and to have it in such a moment was amazing because our truck was bumping all over the place, it was dark, and I was in an unknown place, with only one person I really knew well...but I had peace and joy. The kind that it felt like it was our Blessed Mother living right in my heart keeping me calm. The trust I had in Jesus during that truck ride, it was like I was somewhere else. I don't think I ever stopped smiling"

God had brought me somewhere completely foreign and I felt this way automatically. When our plane landed in Haiti in August, I no longer needed a lesson in trusting God; I just did in a whole new way. I miss that trust...and I long to get it back.
 As I was reading some older blog posts, I realized that I have kept with the original theme of "stationary mission" in more ways than I thought with regards to my daily life. Continuing to help patients in the doctor's office I work in is the only way I can really live out the mission to God's people. I think this has helped me to refocus the underlying theme of this blog. 
Gras a Dye!

Friendship & life.

Friendship


I came to a decision today about friendship. I often feel that lonely feeling where I am tempted to say "I have no friends" because I am not constantly surrounded by one group of people that share everything and have tons of good times. Today, I met an old friend for lunch on my way home from NH. This led me to think.

I have not seen this friend in probably a year or so, yet we had lunch and talked like it was a week ago when we last talked. I would rather the amazing friendships that I have like this, than trade it for a small group that I see weekly. To have so many people, spanning this country, that I may not see for weeks, months, or even years, that I can meet up with and have it be like we did not miss a beat, is a blessing beyond words.

Life


I am struggling. Let's face it, school and work are more than I can handle. Taking on responsibilities, training people, and being mentally exhausted before I even  head to school is not good. School is hard.

People keep telling me "but you are so close to being done with school!" Well, I know that. It doesn't seem to help me because I am not done yet and I'm overwhelmed now!!!


My faith is not that strong right now either. I mean I know God is here with me, so I guess that means it is strong, knowing though I don't feel it. But I have not had the best prayer life by definition and definitely need confession. I miss and long for Eucharist and for grace. I want to change my life and need God desperately to save me. (Maybe that will be another post this week).


Chris Sligh explains my life at this point!

7 Quick Takes - Friday!!!

7 Quick Takes, hosted over here!!! Conversion Diary!

Hi,

What a week!

1: I know I posted about it this week but just a reminder, Cholera outbreak in Haiti spread to Port au Prince! PRAY!!!!!!!!

2: I know more info about some guy that my co-worker wants to set me up with than I should probably know about someone without having met them....for someone who wants to get married, maybe I should be more open to these ideas, but I get so awkward when people talk about setting me up...

3: On that topic, if I could admit, I wish there were still arranged marriages! Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but honestly , the coworker who wants to set me up, she has a son, they're Catholic, and a really  nice family. My mom and her get along....so why can't they just agree that we should marry and be done with it...we can learn to love each other! I swear!.....

4: I need a mindset change. As I was venting to someone recently, I realized that the bulk of my "issues" lately are extremely self centered. If I wasn't so caught up in my own self, then I would be so much happier.

5: TOTALLY RANDOM: Did you know that there is a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera? It is only showing in London and it's called Love Never Dies Check it out!!!

6: It is a sad day in the world for me when I walked up to my friends college suite door (she shares a suite, which is compiled of like 6 or 7 bedrooms of 1 or 2 people each) and see a sign "Get Tested for Chlamydia"...is this what the world has come to? The college was advertising this.

7: And to finish, me and the friend I'm visiting just  baked cupcakes. YAY!

Catholocism? What? Who?

50 Catholics were killed in Iraq. If you aren't Catholic and don't read a Catholic news site, chances are you had no idea.

The actual Terrorist Attack Article here!

I sat in my "religion" class last night as someone randomly  brought this up towards the end of class by saying "well weren't a bunch of Christians just killed in Iraq or something?" and I spoke up and said "Terrorists went into a Catholic Church, killed 2 priests and many others, taking people hostage" The professor looked shocked that he hadn't heard of this and quietly said, "I should have known about that"

Then I realized something esle. CNN has a bunch of mini stories that I watched yesterday. Mostly unheard of things like "Man in wheelchair tackles robber" and such. The big story was the student protest that turned violent in London.

Did anyone in the world care about the Catholics targeted and killed? Please pray for the repose of their souls and for mercy upon the terrorists who planned and carried out this attack.

Pleading for Haiti

Hi readers!

Please please pray for Haiti! The cholera outbreak has hit and is now traveling through Port au Prince the capitol. If it is not contained, it can be a huge detriment to the city, since sanitation and hygiene are so poor with the majority of inhabitants of the city still living out of poorly constructed tents since last January's earthquake. Here in the US, if our house burns, usually we can go stay with family, or have home insurance to rebuild...in Haiti, an earthquake happened 10 months ago and people are living in the same small tent for 10 months. They are not awaiting their rebuild of their previous home to be finished. They are in their new home for the most part.

Please pray as this could wipe out a large number of people. Pray for God's mercy, love and healing to resonate through this small country!

Pure Exhaustion

Pure exhaustion is how I know for sure that God dwells within me.

Today I have had patience and trained a few people throughout the day...without losing my mind. Yes, now that everyone has gone, I find I  have almost no energy to even walk...but I'd rather be able to save face, even if only for the 7.5 hours I am at work.

I read somewhere or heard in a talk at some time that when you have nothing left to give of yourself, give Christ. I feel that today has been one of those days. I had nothing left to start with yet I was able to give.

How is this possible?

Christ dwells within me, the presence of the Holy Spirit was sealed within me through the grace of the Sacraments I've received. When I, as a human being, have absolutely nothing else left within me to give of my own accord, I give what it left: Christ

I know now why it is important to build our lives on the Firm Foundation of Jesus Christ. Because underneath all that we are, and when our fortress of grace, our walls of protection, and all of our gifts been used, we are not left completely empty. Our God gives through us. Our God lives in us. Our God makes it possible for us to keep on being.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for moving in me today and for keeping me going. I could not make it without you. I pray for those around me, that they too will be inspired to make You their firm foundation for that when they have given it all, there will be You to give more! I offer up Haiti in a special way today as they have confirmed the Cholera outbreak has spread to Port au Prince. Lord, Have Mercy on your People! Amen!